But by standard definitions of “strong” I think that we fail to meet the criteria and it can be exhausting to hear over and over.Thank you for sharing. But emotionally, the idea of verbal conversation (versus text where we can edit responses or cry unseen) may be exhausting. assure me that I was strong and capable. This doesn’t mean that you can’t suggest alternatives. But what these responses actually boil down to is not believing that I know my limits.And something like that, a chore? And it does no one any good — and most of us at least a small degree of harm — to hear that we’re too strong to even Because most of us have been and/or will be felled by it at some point to the extent that we’re paralyzed or struggling to cope with basic life. But if we say they won’t work, please believe that we’ve almost certainly evaluated the option based on what we are currently emotionally capable of trying. See the Because I’m quite sure it’s not nearly as true as most people think.The reality was that a) I didn’t have a choice and b) it’s not like I weathered it steadfastly. Recently, when I’ve talked about depression (especially how poorly I fare in isolation), some people in my life/social media have — with, I’m sure, the best of intentions — said that I’m strong or determined or whatever. Opinions on those sites do not necessarily reflect my own, and I am not responsible for the fulfillment of offers on third party sites. Or that every white person has white privilege or is “fragile” when confronted with the problem of race relations.If we are going to go down that road, are we willing to confront all of the qualifiers that can be attached to Black citizens? To be clear and as regular readers know, I’m usually a high-functioning depressive. I’ve held a knife to my wrist, trying to imagine the physical pain, then comparing it to the prospect of ending the emotional, almost visceral pain I was feeling. I truly thought long and hard about it. And so on and so forth.The burden/malingering part is key because it makes us not want to admit that we’re having trouble coping. And it does no one any good — and most of us at least a small degree of harm — to hear that we’re too strong to even Because most of us have been and/or will be felled by it at some point to the extent that we’re paralyzed or struggling to cope with basic life. And/or you *know* it’s literally all in your head. And that comes from a place of kindness. Paid links may also be included. * Good point. Disagree with them and you will be marginalized, defamed or sued out of existence.The least ideologically inclusive place in American society is the university, followed closely by the editorial room of most major newspapers. )I could definitely see trauma doing that. But emotionally, the idea of verbal conversation (versus text where we can edit responses or cry unseen) may be exhausting. Just know that I’m here if you need to vent or cry or talk about something completely unrelated to get your mind off it.”If any of you have ideas about what would help to hear, please feel free to put them in the comments.So….I think it’s human nature to want to offer some form of support or encouragement when you see someone struggling.

So it’s important to communicate these kinds of things, I think. If they say that an option you suggest isn’t viable, please assume they know their own limits (again, especially emotionally). I’m glad you believe that you’re strong, capable and smart at least a little. Winds S at 10 to 20 mph..Cloudy skies early, then partly cloudy after midnight. And sure, that backlash rarely comes. So if you know that your difficulties are things that other people can do/deal with, it can really, truly help to hear that people can see they’re real to you (and maybe even them).Several times I said, don’t apologize for venting. That our depression is limiting our abilities, so that what we seem to be capable of and what we are So to say that we have options when we insist we don’t can feel like people are denying our reality. It took a lot for them to admit that they’re “weak” enough to even contemplate suicide — or to contemplate the possibility that they So we don’t need to hear that we’re strong and resourceful and capable.

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